By: Curt Williams, Executive Director & Founder
For more and more of the boys in our care, these are the words they hear when they feel they are completing the ministry program here at Youth-Reach, and they call their parents to plan their return home. They are being told they cannot return home.
Closed Doors
For many different reasons, the doors have closed, and a return home is no longer an option. In some instances, this is understandable, but for others, it is unfathomable. Some boys have turned 18 and it is time for them to launch into adulthood via college, Bible school (if they so choose), trade school or the military. Others caused such chaos and havoc in their homes that families are simply not willing to take the risk that, though they have completed the rigorous and demanding program here, they may return home to repeat their prior behaviors. Still others have simply adapted to life without the black sheep and have moved on. This is the hardest for us to understand, but it is certainly not a new phenomenon. We have seen this for many years, yet it is no less shocking to witness as the boys struggle to digest the news that they cannot return home. Ever. Though rare, the most brazen is the situation where a parent drops off their kid, then when we later call them, they have changed their phone number, and we no longer have any way to contact or find them.
Now for us, we see this as the parent’s loss is our gain. We have already adopted these guys into our hearts, and it is often agonizing for us when they leave. For me personally, it has been said that if it were up to me, there would be over 3,000 guys still here, all living around Youth-Reach with their wives and kids. I cannot deny the truth in this, as I hate my boys leaving, and I love it when they come back to visit, but I realize that we can never replace their families. It is a bit different for the adopted boys, especially those who were adopted in their adolescence. These guys are less connected to their adoptive parents, but they still deeply yearn to be connected to a family.
Shifting Strategies
Presently, we have seven boys who will not be going home, and for each of them the reasoning is unique. One has chosen not to go home, as the environment will not be conducive to him sustaining the healthy and successful path he has set for himself. Others would like to go home, but for various reasons the doors have been closed. We understand some of these reasons and struggle with others, but for these boys our strategies shift. We begin to plot a long-range set of goals that include education targets, emotional and spiritual maturity, and a tailored plan that considers their ages and obviously their healing from rejection and neglect. What we do is very different with a boy who is 13 years old compared to a boy who is 17 years old, so this is a complex and dynamic situation.
What we deal with every day here at Youth-Reach comes with many deep challenges, and we are profoundly grateful to those of you who interrupt your lives to stop and invest in these kids and support this sensitive work. We never blow past your sacrifice but recognize that what you do fuels what we do. Thank you, and please keep our kids in your prayers. Those prayers make all the difference in the world.
