This is the story of how I found my true identity. I was adopted from Guatemala at the age of 2 ½; this caused a big part of my identity issues since I never knew my biological parents. I had trust issues with my new family and everyone else.
After being with my new family for five years, my mom and dad divorced. At the time, I couldn’t see how deeply this decision affected me.
At a young age, I began to rebel against my parents and teachers. My parents thought that I would grow out of it. I didn’t know that I was trying to fill the hole in my heart by being rebellious to seem cool in front of my peers.
The feeling of being part of a group made me feel whole since I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.
Eventually, I thought I’d grown out of that rebellion, but I filled the void by distracting myself with porn, video games, and doing good in school. I tricked myself and my parents for a long time until eighth grade.
The video games, porn, and doing well in school weren’t cutting it anymore. I couldn’t find my identity in those things anymore. I started an unhealthy relationship with a girl that led to a promiscuous lifestyle. None of that gave me the same feeling I was craving.
Eventually, I decided to start doing drugs to help me feel alive. I was dying inside and burning every bridge I had with friends and my family. I didn’t care what happened to me because I was so far gone and didn’t deal with any of my problems because I believed I was “too tough” for that.
I continued to spiral more downwards until I got sent away from my family to a residential center known for helping boys like me.
Although I thought I was beyond hope, I was wrong. I’ve witnessed what God can do with broken people, and how he can make them whole.
I didn’t want to struggle with my past issues anymore. My counselor guided me through my problems and allowed me to see clearly. He was also broken at one time, but God healed him. He understood my problems and helped me work through them.
I now live with my identity in Christ, allowing him to guide me instead of this world. I don’t need anything but Jesus to make me feel alive. He is enough. My purpose is to glorify Christ in everything I do and share his love with everyone.
